journal entry #4- getting caught.
I get caught with everything I do all the time; I never get away with things. The last time I didn’t get in trouble for something I did was because I lied even more and blamed my mom, she was so shocked that I was hurt physically she didn’t even care I lied it was her fault. Iv made her look terrible and iv blamed things on her that wasn’t true making me feel terrible. Some things ill regret. But I always know I have mama here right beside me. Today the police caught me; they brought me to my house and showed my mom all the notes my school gave them. I haven’t been attending for the past month; I don’t know what I was thinking sitting in central park writing stories that probably wouldn’t get published. It was my junior year in high school and I was ruining it for myself. Everybody was well on there way to getting accepted into college of their choice and I was over here skipping school to write stories and read novels I got overly interested in. I don’t know why I did, but I just did. I regret it because if I ever want to be successful I need to go to a great college and do a job worthwhile.
journal entry #3- Being Black.
Over here in Harlem, New York it’s hard being a black person. Its 1951 and all I can think about is how racial these days are. If your black you just don’t have as many opportunities as the white men do, and as a teenager I’m just noticing that also. I don’t know what to do about it other than keep working to success. Iv slowed down on the fighting and tried to up it a notch on school. School is hard for me because most of the time I phase out writing or reading, and not to mention I’m looked down upon because I’m black. I don’t like the fact blacks are looked down upon in my society. I’m intelligent enough to be a writer not something that has to do with labor. Iv gotten into too many fights over being black. I didn’t choose to be this way but I don’t mind it either, my mama always told me “be proud of what you are and nothing less” and don’t know what that fully meant but I figured she was talking about my skin color. At the end of the day im proud of what I am, its hard on me, but I accept it.
journal entry #2- math problems.
My sister married a black man named Frank Stephen Law. He offered to help me with my math because in all reality, I sucked at math. I loved to write but math wasn’t my thing, everything just came so hard to me. Id go to school everyday and during math id find something better to do like pick out some of the books from the shelves the teacher had sitting aside and id just read. I loved reading. Its all I did when I had math class, I guess that’s why though. I can’t focus on math enough because I just don’t care. My mama threatened to pull me out of bible school the following summer if I didn’t get my act together. I don’t believe her. I always did love spending most of my summer at bible school though, so I tried to straighten up my act with math, but it just wasent working. The only reason I was promoted to the second grade was because of my outstanding ability to read, my teacher noticed it and passed me particularly for it. I loved that teacher, she knew what I was going thru with my speech and she helped me.
journal entry #1- first day of school.
I woke up to the sound of music today and mama was trying to get me out of bed and on to school to start my first day of first grade. My teachers name was Mrs. Dworkin. When I got to school I tried my hardest to not get in trouble because last year in kindergarden all I ever got was bad notes home sent to mama. I sat in the very back of the class where I was being quiet until the teacher called on me to read. I went to the very front of the class where I stood in front of my fellow classmates and read what was assigned. This kid named Manuel Bonilla made fun of the way I talked, so I punched him in the face. I got sent to the principles office but that okay, because I like the principle. She came off very nice and made you feel good about yourself even when you where in trouble. I on the other hand had five hundres lines to write that said “I will never, never hit any student in public school 125”. It was an interesting first day, it really was.
“being good in class was not easy for me. I had a need to fill up all the spaces in my life, with activity, with talking, sometimes with purely imagines scenarios that would dance through my mind, occupying me while some other student was at the blackboard” Pg. 43
As a boy he was a very active child, almost like he had ADD attention deficit disorder. He always needed something to do otherwise he felt bored. This is what caused him to get in trouble most of the time, he didn’t have the brightest ideas.
“on my way home from the Bronx to Harlem, I saw that life went on. Kids were playing ball on 122nd street, the iceman was delivering ice, women sat in the windows watching the world go by. Someone died and life went on.” Pg. 71
I chose this quote because in the book Myers was realizing that even though it was his birthday and his uncle died, life went on. He realized that people where doing the same old things and his family was in shock from his dads loss of his brother. Life went on. It just goes to show that just because one thing ended doesn’t mean everything did.